knight_ander (knight_ander) wrote,
knight_ander
knight_ander

Quick Colombiana Review

Unless you want your intelligence insulted, do not waste your time and money on this movie. It holds the honor as the first movie I have ever walked out of. The movie is almost 2 hours long, and I think I walked out at the 1½ hour mark, even though my instincts were crying out to me to leave at the one hour mark! This was bad, so bad that it gets a straight F, barely missing an F- by a hair.

It was so bad that the two-minute trailer for the Taylor "Shark Boy" Lautner movie Abduction was more interesting than any two-minutes in Colombiana!

And I should have known things were going to be bad when they played the trailer for the "remake" of Footloose! The 80s ended over twenty years ago, so the kid should not be wearing a skinny-tie on the first day of school! I'm not a big fan of the original, but it was so horrifying that I couldn't turn away! That explosion you heard shortly before noon Pacific time was my head!

And then there was the trailer for the annual remake of The Three Musketeers! Can you say "KABOOM"?
Tags: movies, reviews
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