Optimus Prime

Six Short Movie Reviews!

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

To say that this mess of a movie is a disappointment is an understatement of epic proportion. Let's just say that in my "Personal Pirates of the Caribbean Canon," this movie does not exist. Oh, it has its positive moments, but not enough to save it from my grade of D.

Ocean's Thirteen

With the Summer Movie Season off to a poor start and the stench of Ocean's Twelve still in the air after three years my expectations weren't very high for this movie. Thankfully a smart plot, some entertaining sub-plots, and a complicated plan of revenge where everybody but the Bad Guy are in on the caper makes for a far better movie. B+.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

While I liked the first Fantastic Four movie, I was surprised that they made a second. I was also surprised to discover that I enjoyed this movie just as much, maybe more, than the first. This was, for lack of a better term, a fun family film, free of the angst that plagues Super-Hero movies these days. While Jessica Alba as Sue Storm is always very watchable, I think I'm developing a man-crush on Mr. Fantastic, Ioan Gruffudd. Featuring an unexpected, yet smart twist toward the end, FF:RotSS gets the first A- of the season.

Live Free or Die Hard

Is there a better action-movie hero than Bruce Willis' John McClane? No.

Is there a better action-movie villain than Timothy Olyphant's Thomas Gabriel? What kind of stupid question is that? While he has his own brand of smarminess, Olyphant is a light-weight of a villain, his right-hand hench-woman (played by Maggie Q., the toughest chick this side of a James Cameron heroine) puts up a better fight --- literally!

But it is Justin Long who steals the show as McClane's sidekick and the only person who can stop Gabriel's virtual "Fire Sale" that's crippling the country. With some incredible (and occassionally unbelieveable) action, I give this movie a B+.


Has Pixar ever made a bad movie? Well they don't start making bad movies with their latest, even if it is about a rat who has an enhanced sense of smell and cooking knowledge. Pixar once again makes a visually stunning, mouth-watering movie. B+.


This may be one of the most talked about movies among men between the ages of 25-40 who remember the after-school television series (which was always on after G.I. Joe) in the 80s. Some may take every moment of it seriously, comparing and critizing the differences and the plain-old fact that it is a Michael Bay movie, and some (like myself) may just go for the ride and hope they have something entertaining, familiar, and enjoyable to watch, hoping to connect with the same idol-worship they had with an 18-wheeler that transformed into a noble robot with a voice like God at war! When Optimus Prime speaks, I get goose-bumps.

Transformers is the flip-side of At World's End: it has its negative moments, but not enough to take away my grade of A.
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I would call the ending "foolish" not "brave."

If I had to re-write the ending, Will wouldn't have suffered a fatal wound. Davey Jones would be just about to do so when Boot-Strap Bill comes to his senses and stabs Davey Jones' heart to save his son, ala Vader tossing the Emperor down the shaft. Or Jack would come to his sense and have Boot-Strap (the only "good man" on the ship) stab the heart and take Jones' place as boatman of the underworld, helping the dead that Jones was neglecting find shore at World's End.
No, I understood what you were saying, Sweetheart. It was brave of them to think of that ending, but foolish of them to actually do it. Hope that makes some sense by comparison.

Anywho, on to Transformers...

I swear to god, but I actually saw a Ford Mustang yesterday with a paint-job just like Bumblebee's! It kinda blew my mind because it didn't look like a recent paint-job as if the owner was trying to emulate Bumblebee or soemthing.

The main girl didn't look like a $5 whore. $50 at least, but not $5. :p I did notice that she was wearing a very poor choice of shows during the scene when she was trying to walk home. I've had the song "Baby Come Back" in my head ever since. At least she was starting to become aware of her self-destructive behavior during her "How did I get myself into this mess" monologue. I think Bumblebee had the hots for her just as much as Sam did. I can just imagine him saying something like, "She could rotate my tires any time." ;)

I think the Aussie analyst girl was just a bit too pretty, especially when thrown into the company of all those other dweepish hackers. And was that nose-stud suppose to make her look edgy or something?

Regarding the final battle, I bought the novelization a week before seeing the movie, so I knew how it was going to end, too. Out of all of the Michael Bay-moments in that final battle, I think the low-angle, slow-motion shot of a girl screaming as a Transformer stepped over her was pretty over-the-top. Heck, the girl was so well lit that I tried to count how many fillings she had in her teeth! :D
Interesting. I also did not enjoy PotC this time as much as previously, mostly because it felt like the movie was just tying loose ends. The ending was also too intense; had they left the plot at the ending of the first movie, I would catagorize PotC as a charming swashbuckling adventure. Have heard many good things about Ratatouille, but haven't had a chance to see it yet. Mmm, I'm happy to hear Transformers was good... My dad wanted to see it and sadly there aren't a terrible many movies he's willing to take time away from work to see.
it's a cool movie, so I hope he enjoys it. :)

Ratatouille is really entertaining and fun and definately lives up to all the critical excitement. Air-conditioned movie theaters are always a nice place to spend when getting away from the summer heat, especially when there are good movies to watch when you're there.