Deviled Eggs and Britney Spears
I love deviled-eggs.
When I was a kid, my dad’s aunt would make deviled-eggs for our Easter dinners. However, she made her eggs with vinegar, lots of vinegar. My dad, his sister, and their cousin warned me that her deviled-eggs were something to avoid despite the temptation. “If you get sick on them, don’t say we didn’t warn you.”
“How bad can deviled-eggs made with vinegar be?” I thought, so I tried them.
Making deviled-eggs with vinegar is wrong.
My first taste wasn’t vomit inducing, but my mouth did scrunch up and despite the strength of the vinegar, I was able to get it down. “Okay,” I thought, “that wasn’t completely horrible.”
Such thoughts lead to the inevitable: a second vinegar-laced deviled-egg.
Needless to say I reacted the exact same way as I did the first time, but this time I decided to pass on taking a third deviled-egg and stepped away from the tray.
Several minutes later, the tray of deviled-eggs still relatively untouched, I approached it thinking, “Well they can’t all be that bad, can they? Why don’t I just take one from the other side of the tray.” Placement didn’t matter, they all tasted the same.
Ah, I know what you’re thinking: “Did he just say `they all’?”
Well, I don’t know about all of them, but this scene would repeat itself four or five times, and the five or six deviled-eggs I ate all tasted the same.
We didn’t share Easter with Dad’s side of the family every year, but when we did, his aunt would still make deviled-eggs, and I would still sample them, thinking, “Maybe she didn’t use vinegar this time,” and I would be wrong.
This brings me to Britney Spears’ new single and video, “Gimme More.” I like the hook, I like the chorus, but the rest is vinegar, especially the video. I’ve stumbled upon it a couple of times during my morning channel surfing (thanks a lot, MTV!) and I would pause to watch, thinking, “Is this really as bad as I think it is?” Like the deviled-eggs I can’t help myself: “It’s not that bad, is it?” Not to say that anything Britney has done in the past was necessarily high-quality and worthy of praise, but it wasn’t necessarily repellent, but this is just wrong!
The past couple of years were pretty much the same for anyone who keeps track of Britney. The marriage, the annulment, the marriage, the kids, the divorce, the traffic violations, the kids, the haircut, rehab, the divorce, the traffic violations, the custody battle, the VMA performance, the hit and run, etc., etc., etc. It is enough to make a person sick if you take in too much.
Well, those who keep shoving those Britney Spears flavored deviled-eggs down our collective throats are starting to fall ill, relatively speaking, of course.
A member of the stalker-azzi got his foot run over after getting too close to the egg-tray that is Britney’s car. The “victim” has no plans to file a police report, probably because any judge with half a mind (although we are talking about California judges here) would say, “You had it coming” and put the photographer in jail for wasting his time. The woman doesn’t have a valid drivers-license, there are a gazillion of you swarming her car every time she slows for even a speed-bump, it is a good chance that some toes are going to get smooshed.
Step away from the tray, step away from the car.
Don’t say you haven’t been warned.
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