knight_ander (knight_ander) wrote,

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What Really Happens in the ER!

WARNING: You might be offended by the following. I apologize in advance, but I had to say something!

It has been a long time since I've sat through an episode of ER, or caught an episode of Trauma: Life in the ER on The Learning Channel, yet when I work on ER charts at my hospital, I wonder, "Has this been on television?"

Nothing is as dull as encounters for abdominal pains or splinters. It is the encounters involving what most people would call "deviant acts" that makes me go, "WTF??"

An example: a man picks up a woman at a bar, doesn't remember the rest of the night, and wakes up with what I would call a "free-weight accesory" around his manhood. As if that weren't bad enough, the guy waits TWO FUCKIN' DAYS before seeking medical attention!!!

Another example involves a lonely man and the use of electrical cord as a masterbatory aid, which happens to be more disturbing than the couple that used a chicken bone as a sex-toy... on him! And had to go to the ER to retrieve said chicken bone!

My favorite (pervert that I am) didn't have many details with the exception that a woman's injury took place when she slipped while she and her girlfriend were "messing around" in the shower. Her boyfriend (whom she lives with) came from out of town to pick her up from the ER.

Another one we learned about today involved a man who's erectile problems with his girlfriend are causing a problem with their relationship. As sad as that may sound, he functions just fine when he surfs for porn on the internet! Add in that he plays videogames 3-6 hours a day and claims to be employed, where does he have the time for a girlfriend?
Tags: work

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